Turned 17 and here are some lessons that I’ve learned:

Okay, I turned 17 about 4 months ago. But, that’s not the point. And, as much as it would have satisfied my odd need to post this on my birthday for alignment and timing type purposes, we’re just going to have to deal with this. So, OnWaRDs with this blog shall we. Yes, we shall.

Lesson 1: don’t stop when you stopped

To clear it up a bit, it’s kind of like saying don’t fail twice. An example would be if you set a goal to do a certain amount of pushups for a week and you missed one day (let’s say even the first day) don’t, do not miss a second day. Sometimes when we missed a scheduled task or goal, we drop the whole thing. However, it’s normal to miss that first day, it happens, it’s okay, remember that. Stand right back up and push yourself to keep going. Don’t stop. 

 

Lesson 2: daily affirmations all the way

I joked around a lot about myself. Deep down, I knew that it was hurting me but I tend to cover that up with laughing. I had a long list of negative self-talk that I picked at on the daily without really recognizing it. However, I started being more aware of it and realized that my words were harming me the most. And, I decided that the only words that I was going to say are going to be positive. That, I was going to speak only good. Sooo, I made a list of daily affirmations. I would say it when I woke up, just randomly during the day, and at least five things before I slept. I truly found it to change my day (of course, in a better way- ha that rhymed).

 

Lesson 3: chill, homie

When the days feel like it just keeps repeating and you feel exhausted in your soul, take a breath. Sometimes we just go through the motions and push ourselves to the point where you’re awake and doing things but the reality is that you’re too tired to really enjoy the moments. So, I found that you really gotta push the chill button for yourself, close your eyes, take a few deeps breaths, relax your shoulders and your face, and even SLEEP. 

 

Lesson 4: when I’m 80…

I want to look back on my life one day and be proud of the things that I did, the chances I took, the adventures I went on. There are things that I want to do but I get held back by all these thoughts on what would Sheryl think. I don’t really know a Sheryl, but I’m speaking hypothetically here. Sheryl, in this case, represents those people who’re opinions matter to you but shouldn’t. I catch myself getting all tense upon whether or not so-and-so would judge what I do or if they liked a project I’m working on. Then, I think: “why do I even care?”. If you know that your intentions are good and you are reaching your goal and working on it, other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter, they don’t. Truthfully, I do have a few people I look up to and their opinions mean the most to me. It’s a very small list composed of my mom, dad, siblings, and my best friend. The reason I chose this list is that I know IN MY HEART that these amazing hoomans want the best for me in life and their intentions in the words they give me are always for good reason. But, aside from them, I try not to let whatever else someone might think of me get in my way to reach my dream. Another thing I think of is when I’m 80. What does it mean? Well, it so happens that when I was whipping up some pancakes one day, I realized when I turn 80, I’m probably not going to care about that time I decided to text a guy or post a youtube video of me singing as my voice cracks. It’s all part of life’s big adventure and these will all be moments one day. I might be red as a tomato because of some embarrassing lil moment but I calm down thinking about “when I’m 80” or even just thinking about how in a couple of hours I’m probably just going to be laughing about it. 

 

Lesson 5: not an option

One plus one does not equal 2 or 3 or 4 or whatever else number. You are not an option. You deserve so much better. Understanding your worth and walking away from a relationship that treats you like an option can be hard but way worth it. You are the only choice BABY. 

 

Lesson 6: be honest

I’ve gotten into situations and things that I didn’t really want to do just because I was afraid of being honest and scared of hurting someone by saying no. But being honest it probably the bestest thing for you to do. It might come out as too straightforward or rude but it’s really not. Say you mean and mean what you say. If you’re talking to a boy and you don’t like him that way and you know he likes you, be honest. Say you don’t like him that way. You don’t need to say it meanly or anything but just say it. 

 

Lesson 7: rejection = good thing

Okay, fine, rejection also = ouch. There are times in life when you will be rejected. Whether it be after gathering your confidence and asking someone out or sending your write-up to be published, you will experience rejection. But, it’s part of the process. It will help you to grow and you’ll find better opportunities. And, for that person who doesn’t like you that way, it will also save you the time and energy you might have put if the person didn’t tell you that they don’t feel the same. If J.K. Rowling stopped trying after her 12th rejection for her book, we wouldn’t have our harry potter world today. Walt Disney was turned down 302 times and because he didn’t give up, he’s a legend. After 1009 rejections, Colonel Sanders still kept going, and now 23,000 KFC outlets found in 140 countries. So, keep your head up you Queeeen or Kiinng.

 

Lesson 8: brownies and cookies

Yeah, I said it, brownies and cookies. If you’re like me, you love brownies and cookies (and all dessert if we’re getting on this topic). However, I can’t really tell you which one I like most because they’re two different things. Where am I getting at? Comparison is out of the subject. It’s easy to look at someone’s Instagram picture or something and start comparing yourself to them. BUT DONT. Two people are two DIFFERENT people, you can’t compare them. 

 

Lesson 9: say thank you 

When I wake up, I say thank you. When my sister makes me scrambled egg, I say thank you. When my mom shows me ideas on what to write about, I say thank you. Before I sleep I list at least ten things in my head that happened in the day that I’m grateful for. This has draaamaaatically (notice the emphasis on dramatic) helped me to develop a more mindset and improve my well-being. 

 

Lesson 10: small actions aren’t small

The small things that you do matter. On your journey to self-love and improvement, every little change goes a long way. Doing one push-up more and waking up one hour earlier makes a difference. It goes a long way.

 

Lesson 11: stand tall and shout

Even if you’re small (like me), stand tall homie. This goes for what you believe in. Stand up for what you know is right. Don’t let people silence you or your ideas. Keep your chin up and shout (you don’t really need to shout but if you want to DO THAT TOO) and keep fighting. If we do this together, our collective actions and voices will be heard and changes will take place. 

 

Lesson 12: the competition is the mirror

I realized that what I do, I do for myself. Life isn’t a competition for who can look best in that bikini or who can be the most successful of all time. The only competition is between you and YOU. That wasn’t a typo. It’s about being better than you were yesterday. Small changes, improving, and keep on going. 

 

Lesson 13: stop holding on

You know who those people are in your life that is toxic for you but you somehow keep holding on. It’s time to let go. Those people who are holding you back and having this negative effect on your life. Or, maybe it’s someone you had in your life that you used to always be close to and it used to be so perfect and now it’s like they’re trying to avoid you. I know how that feels, and it absolutely sucks. But, there are times in life where it will hurt more to hold on than to let go. 

 

Lesson 14: dance and vibe *important

just dance. just vibe. Maybe it’s just bopping your head to your favorite song or having a full-on dance party with your PJs at 4 am with your cat. Just do it.

 

Lesson 15: unfollow and follow

Is it just me or does the word follow look kind of weird? Hm, okay, anyway, not the point. Unfollow people or things that bring negativity to your life. Online and offline (aka in person). You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Then follow those that inspire you. Follow things that bring you happiness, laughter, and joy when you see it. If you have Instagram or any other social, follow pages or people that lift you up by their words or what they show. I went on my socials and went on unfollowing people who I didn’t really have good vibes with because of something they did and it honestly made a difference. Um, just like probably don’t follow (like follow follow) someone in person randomly because that’ll be weird. 

Lesson 16: read desiderata 

just read it.

And, if you can, learn it by heart.

 

Lesson 17: give it a chance, right side up and upside down

What I learned from this lesson is to give things and people a chance. Whether it’s hearing a negative subjective description from someone about a certain someone or having a bad first impression. I believe that’s it’s important to give someone a chance, the benefit of the doubt. To step back and look at the situation in a different way. Right side up, and upside down.

 

a reminder:

HELLO, you beautiful human being. I’m proud of you and I appreciate you. You’re a baddie and you’re awesome (you better go to the mirror and tell that to yourself). Also, please don’t forget to wash your hands and social distance and hydrate!!! Okay, till my next blog, bye, love you! 

❤

 

 

 

 

Kobe Bryant

There are bad things in life that happen. Things that we can’t control. Things that get out of hand. Most of the time, these situations are unexpected. And, they suck. They really do.

Two days ago (January 26), a terrible incident occurred in the hills above Calabasas. A helicopter crashed, taking nine lives. Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant, John Altobelli, Keri Altobellie, Alyssa Altobelli, Christina Mauser, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, and Ara Zobayan. Three of the passengers were just 13 years old. All of them had families. Families who are going through unbearable pain from the news. No one saw this coming when the helicopter took off. No one thought that the last time they saw them, that that would be the last time. 

There are so many people who look up to Kobe Bryant. Whether it was the way he played or some words that gave which motivated or changed their life. Maybe they were a big-time fan or just someone who heard about something Kobe said; nevertheless, he was an inspiration to so many. He was a light. He was kind. He had work ethic. He was focused. He had humility. He was a strong competitor and had such an incredible creative force that pushed people to the best they can be just through his words. He is one of the most respected players in NBA history. He was so much more than just an athlete, he was also a family man. He was so caring and kind to his family and to those he loved. And, he was still so young. It’s hard to believe that this even happened. It doesn’t feel real. He is a true legend. And, he will forever be remembered.  

One thing to remember is that life is short. I know that it’s hard to wrap your mind around this fact. It really is hard. I know that it’s painful knowing that death can just come at any moment. We don’t know when our last day will be. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. But we have now. Right now. We have this time and moment to push ourselves to live the life we want to live. The truth is if you’re not seeking life and purpose, you’re not living, you’re just alive. There’s a difference, a big difference, from being alive and living. Being alive is stagnant. It’s being dragged daily as monotony continuously crosses your mind. It’s standing still as the current of life pulls you to do the same boring thing every single day. 

“Intimidation [doesn’t] exist if you’re in the right frame of mind.” – Kobe

But this thing called living, it’s something else. It’s something completely different. Living is never missing a single moment. Living is screaming out at the beach. Living is singing your heart out. It’s about dancing because that’s how you express yourself. It’s about taking that chance, shooting your shot, going after those opportunities and passions that you have. Do what you do, love who you love, tell that person that you love how you feel. Life is about falling down, failing, but getting back up again, stronger, better, and with a bigger fire inside of you to keep fighting for what you want. It’s about being wild and untamed. It’s about laughing until your stomach hurts and you have pee and cry at the same time. It’s about always going and never being complacent. It’s about those midnight adventures for ice cream. It’s about noticing the little things, appreciating the simple joys, and enjoying every damn bite from that cupcake. 

“I can’t relate to lazy people. We don’t speak the same language. I don’t understand you. I don’t want to understand you.” – Kobe

May all the lives lost be honored. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this tragedy.

Live life authentically, kindly, and fully. Love your family and your team.

Love you guys ❤

Yours truly,

L.O.A.S.H

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© Elizabeth Anne Villoria

 

· 16 lessons I learned at 16 ·

Might have turned 16 a couple months ago but it’s never too late to do something. So here goes this blog on 16 lessons I learned at 16. It gets a Lil deep and some of the lessons are pretty awesome: so, grab your blankets & tea and let’s get this going. 

LESSON 1:

 – messy Room = messy mind – 

Yup, you get the idea. The state that I leave my room in usually equates to the state of my mind. It doesn’t help with thinking when your environment isn’t tidy. Have you ever tried doing your homework, or tried finishing a project but distraction just keeps seeping in from all the silent noise which we call mess? I know, very annoying. Set aside time to give your base (a.k.a ur room) some appreciation and CLEAN. IT. UP. Also, just a heads up, this does not mean stuffing everything under your bed, in your closet, a backpack- you know what I’m talking about. Apart from being a good habit, cleaning up your room helps with mental clarity, too.

LESSON 2:

 – if it takes 5 minutes to do it, DO IT – 

AND I ACTUALLY MEAN DO IT. This is a lifesaver and applying this helped me so much with putting on my armor and defeating procrastination. You know you have that homework that would just take 5 minutes or less of your time if you really just put your mind to it? DO IT.  Do you see that small pile of dishes that would take barely a smidge of your time? DO IT. You’re going to thank yourself later. Think about it, if you just keep pushing off all the small tasks aside for “later”, they’re going to add up to an overwhelming amount. So, just to remind you: tackle that task, get it done, & just DO IT (now).

 

LESSON 3:  

 – fleeting pleasure < long-lasting happiness – 

It was kind of funny how I got to say that this lesson reached the list. There was just a random morning when I was walking with my sisters when this truth got knocked into me. This is what hit me: when we try reaching our goals, as innocent as it may seem, fleeting pleasures pop up luring us over to miss the opportunities we get for long-lasting happiness.

I repeated to my sisters saying “we keep choosing FLEETING PLEASURES OVER LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS, we. MUST. end. this.” Yes, I was very dramatic as I came to my conclusion.

Fast forward a couple days later: I was walking around the supermarket when my sisters and I reached the chips aisle. Yumma, Chipppps! I jumped in the air throwing some punches into the vastness as I waltzed my way to the Cheetos. I can confirm that my sisters shared my enthusiasm, however, as I attempted to grab a bag, my sisters, in unison, shouted in repeat: “FLEETING PLEASURES OVER LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS”. Ooooh, sweet mother of apple crumble pie. I continued to grab the chips anyway, looking at it intensely. I took a breath in, placed the chips back, and waltzed my way out. I muttered under my breath, “hahaha, you shall not win this time, fleeting pleasures…”

MY LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS: Improving my eating habits, and keeping my body healthy

(One of the) fleeting pleasures (that discreetly pop up): Chips

Okay, I know that this might not seem like such a big deal. But, IT IS. It represents fleeting pleasures that people choose which sabotage their plans for something more awesome. I learned that when you find yourself grabbing that bag of chips (this can be that drink, that slice of cake, that misdeed), take a breath and say to yourself “I want long-lasting happiness over this (silly) fleeting pleasure” and walk away. When you start this with the small stuff, you’ll be able to do it with bigger things in life that you face.

 

LESSON 4:  

– don’t take it personally if they don’t know you personally – 

There will be many times in your life when people choose to judge you without even thinking. They might say hurtful things that don’t make any sense to you, some people are just like that. You know yourself, and you are worth so much. So, don’t let what someone says about your bring you down and stay strong warrior.

 

LESSON 5:  

– guard your heart – 

“Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

Going off from the previous lesson it is so important to guard your heart. Your heart matters most of all. When we guard things (like a cute puppy we just adopted, for example) we protect it. Why? Because it is valuable. We guard things that are valuable. Your heart is the essence of who you are. Make it your top priority to guard your heart. What does guarding your heart mean? It means knowing your worth and believing it so much that whatever somebody else might say, YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE.

 

LESSON 6:  

– good music is good for the soul –

Music is amazing. Music is goooood. Good music = good vibes = happy soul. Sing out loud and dance, dance, DANCE.

 

LESSON 7:  

– don’t become the person who hurt you –

Be you, and be mind. I know it hurts. Don’t change who you are but learn from it. Please, remember, you are not the person who hurt you, you are a million times better than that. Not everyone has the same heart as you, so choose kindness no matter what others may show. The way someone acts is a reflection of themselves and not you. It’s okay to not be okay, but show the good human that you are.

 

LESSON 8:  

– you are who you surround yourself with –

Surround yourself with people who will be a positive influence in your life. Be around those who are kind, who support you, and bring out the best in you. Surround yourself with people who keep you smiling and that keeps you laughing until your tummy hurts.

 

 

LESSON 9:  

– saying “no” doesn’t mean you aren’t kind –

You have to learn how to say “No”. I know how hard it is. There might be someone asking for a favor from you but you really can’t or you don’t want to. I will tell you this, it’s okay to say “no”. The problem is, sometimes, when people know that you are kind, they try to take advantage of that. Saying “no” just means that you care about your own boundaries and limits, it does not make you a bad person.

 

LESSON 10:  

– you aren’t missing out if you decide to stay home and fix your life –

You need time for yourself. You need time to heal and get your life together. You’re not missing out if you decide to stay home, wear a face mask, play your favorite music, and skip the football game. One of my favorite self-care remedies is mixing together my peppermint and lemon oils and smelling them. It helps with distressing the stresses that life has. 

 

LESSON 11:  

– smile & give back –

Everyone has their story. Everyone is going through something. Sharing your smile with someone can go a long way. Giving back is so important. It’s your way of helping out in the community, making an impact, and so much more. Giving doesn’t always mean money donations, but it can also mean by your time. Volunteering and helping out around. Volunteering just brings me great joy as I help in any way I can to those who need it, and I’ve met some of the most amazing people, too.

 

LESSON 12:  

– a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor –

I know it’s a tough season that you might be going through. You will get through this. There is a reason for these things that happen and it can help us to grow, to grow in our experience, faith, maturity, and even relationships with other people. The tough seas will help as more adventures, seasons, and storms come at us. 

 

LESSON 13:  

– we are a team –

What happens when you’re in a team? You look out for each other. When someone is falling behind or needs a chance at shooting a shot, we help them, we cheer for them, we motivate them. When one of our team members makes a mistake we stand beside them and show them they’re not alone. That’s how a real team roles. They with each other and for each other. 

In reality, though, we are all in a team. Whether it’s that group of people you were placed with during your math class or a bunch of people you decided to have lunch with one afternoon. We are all in this together (yes, as famously quoted by High school musicallllll), it’s true. So, love what you are doing and love who you are doing it with. Help one another when one is struggling. Be the team player with everyone, and don’t give up on anyone.

 

LESSON 14:  

– character > reputation –

I learned this year that you need to stop investing so much time and effort into controlling other people’s opinions. It’s not possible. Be fully and unashamedly who you are. 

LESSON 15:  

– you might not be able to control what others do, but you can control how you react –

You can watch every step you do but there’s just going to be someone out there trying to make things unreasonably hard. Although we can’t control how others treat us, we can control our reaction to it. You can choose to pop like popcorn and scream your anger out like a kettle, or, you can take a walk, collect your thoughts, think about the reasons why that person might be acting that way, and respond kindly and move on.

 

LESSON 16:  

– family, always & forever –

Family, it’s so important. Whether it’s your birth family, your blended family, your chosen family, the health of your relationship with your family is important. Family isn’t always about being biologically connected. Family is so much more than just bloodlines or last names. Family doesn’t see race, color, differences. Family sees heart. Family are those people in our life who commit to love and support despite your shortcomings or mistakes. It’s secure, like roots, that help us through tough weather and is there holding us up. Family, keep them close and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for choosing them over others.

I’m still learning every day, and, I know some days may be tougher than others, but keeping these lessons in mind helps me to keep moving forward knowing that there’s a reason and that I will become stronger because of the storms. 

 

hope your monday was filled with endless laughs 🙂

Yours truly,

L.O.A.S.H

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© Elizabeth Anne Villoria