· 16 lessons I learned at 16 ·

Might have turned 16 a couple months ago but it’s never too late to do something. So here goes this blog on 16 lessons I learned at 16. It gets a Lil deep and some of the lessons are pretty awesome: so, grab your blankets & tea and let’s get this going. 

LESSON 1:

 – messy Room = messy mind – 

Yup, you get the idea. The state that I leave my room in usually equates to the state of my mind. It doesn’t help with thinking when your environment isn’t tidy. Have you ever tried doing your homework, or tried finishing a project but distraction just keeps seeping in from all the silent noise which we call mess? I know, very annoying. Set aside time to give your base (a.k.a ur room) some appreciation and CLEAN. IT. UP. Also, just a heads up, this does not mean stuffing everything under your bed, in your closet, a backpack- you know what I’m talking about. Apart from being a good habit, cleaning up your room helps with mental clarity, too.

LESSON 2:

 – if it takes 5 minutes to do it, DO IT – 

AND I ACTUALLY MEAN DO IT. This is a lifesaver and applying this helped me so much with putting on my armor and defeating procrastination. You know you have that homework that would just take 5 minutes or less of your time if you really just put your mind to it? DO IT.  Do you see that small pile of dishes that would take barely a smidge of your time? DO IT. You’re going to thank yourself later. Think about it, if you just keep pushing off all the small tasks aside for “later”, they’re going to add up to an overwhelming amount. So, just to remind you: tackle that task, get it done, & just DO IT (now).

 

LESSON 3:  

 – fleeting pleasure < long-lasting happiness – 

It was kind of funny how I got to say that this lesson reached the list. There was just a random morning when I was walking with my sisters when this truth got knocked into me. This is what hit me: when we try reaching our goals, as innocent as it may seem, fleeting pleasures pop up luring us over to miss the opportunities we get for long-lasting happiness.

I repeated to my sisters saying “we keep choosing FLEETING PLEASURES OVER LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS, we. MUST. end. this.” Yes, I was very dramatic as I came to my conclusion.

Fast forward a couple days later: I was walking around the supermarket when my sisters and I reached the chips aisle. Yumma, Chipppps! I jumped in the air throwing some punches into the vastness as I waltzed my way to the Cheetos. I can confirm that my sisters shared my enthusiasm, however, as I attempted to grab a bag, my sisters, in unison, shouted in repeat: “FLEETING PLEASURES OVER LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS”. Ooooh, sweet mother of apple crumble pie. I continued to grab the chips anyway, looking at it intensely. I took a breath in, placed the chips back, and waltzed my way out. I muttered under my breath, “hahaha, you shall not win this time, fleeting pleasures…”

MY LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS: Improving my eating habits, and keeping my body healthy

(One of the) fleeting pleasures (that discreetly pop up): Chips

Okay, I know that this might not seem like such a big deal. But, IT IS. It represents fleeting pleasures that people choose which sabotage their plans for something more awesome. I learned that when you find yourself grabbing that bag of chips (this can be that drink, that slice of cake, that misdeed), take a breath and say to yourself “I want long-lasting happiness over this (silly) fleeting pleasure” and walk away. When you start this with the small stuff, you’ll be able to do it with bigger things in life that you face.

 

LESSON 4:  

– don’t take it personally if they don’t know you personally – 

There will be many times in your life when people choose to judge you without even thinking. They might say hurtful things that don’t make any sense to you, some people are just like that. You know yourself, and you are worth so much. So, don’t let what someone says about your bring you down and stay strong warrior.

 

LESSON 5:  

– guard your heart – 

“Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

Going off from the previous lesson it is so important to guard your heart. Your heart matters most of all. When we guard things (like a cute puppy we just adopted, for example) we protect it. Why? Because it is valuable. We guard things that are valuable. Your heart is the essence of who you are. Make it your top priority to guard your heart. What does guarding your heart mean? It means knowing your worth and believing it so much that whatever somebody else might say, YOU KNOW YOUR VALUE.

 

LESSON 6:  

– good music is good for the soul –

Music is amazing. Music is goooood. Good music = good vibes = happy soul. Sing out loud and dance, dance, DANCE.

 

LESSON 7:  

– don’t become the person who hurt you –

Be you, and be mind. I know it hurts. Don’t change who you are but learn from it. Please, remember, you are not the person who hurt you, you are a million times better than that. Not everyone has the same heart as you, so choose kindness no matter what others may show. The way someone acts is a reflection of themselves and not you. It’s okay to not be okay, but show the good human that you are.

 

LESSON 8:  

– you are who you surround yourself with –

Surround yourself with people who will be a positive influence in your life. Be around those who are kind, who support you, and bring out the best in you. Surround yourself with people who keep you smiling and that keeps you laughing until your tummy hurts.

 

 

LESSON 9:  

– saying “no” doesn’t mean you aren’t kind –

You have to learn how to say “No”. I know how hard it is. There might be someone asking for a favor from you but you really can’t or you don’t want to. I will tell you this, it’s okay to say “no”. The problem is, sometimes, when people know that you are kind, they try to take advantage of that. Saying “no” just means that you care about your own boundaries and limits, it does not make you a bad person.

 

LESSON 10:  

– you aren’t missing out if you decide to stay home and fix your life –

You need time for yourself. You need time to heal and get your life together. You’re not missing out if you decide to stay home, wear a face mask, play your favorite music, and skip the football game. One of my favorite self-care remedies is mixing together my peppermint and lemon oils and smelling them. It helps with distressing the stresses that life has. 

 

LESSON 11:  

– smile & give back –

Everyone has their story. Everyone is going through something. Sharing your smile with someone can go a long way. Giving back is so important. It’s your way of helping out in the community, making an impact, and so much more. Giving doesn’t always mean money donations, but it can also mean by your time. Volunteering and helping out around. Volunteering just brings me great joy as I help in any way I can to those who need it, and I’ve met some of the most amazing people, too.

 

LESSON 12:  

– a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor –

I know it’s a tough season that you might be going through. You will get through this. There is a reason for these things that happen and it can help us to grow, to grow in our experience, faith, maturity, and even relationships with other people. The tough seas will help as more adventures, seasons, and storms come at us. 

 

LESSON 13:  

– we are a team –

What happens when you’re in a team? You look out for each other. When someone is falling behind or needs a chance at shooting a shot, we help them, we cheer for them, we motivate them. When one of our team members makes a mistake we stand beside them and show them they’re not alone. That’s how a real team roles. They with each other and for each other. 

In reality, though, we are all in a team. Whether it’s that group of people you were placed with during your math class or a bunch of people you decided to have lunch with one afternoon. We are all in this together (yes, as famously quoted by High school musicallllll), it’s true. So, love what you are doing and love who you are doing it with. Help one another when one is struggling. Be the team player with everyone, and don’t give up on anyone.

 

LESSON 14:  

– character > reputation –

I learned this year that you need to stop investing so much time and effort into controlling other people’s opinions. It’s not possible. Be fully and unashamedly who you are. 

LESSON 15:  

– you might not be able to control what others do, but you can control how you react –

You can watch every step you do but there’s just going to be someone out there trying to make things unreasonably hard. Although we can’t control how others treat us, we can control our reaction to it. You can choose to pop like popcorn and scream your anger out like a kettle, or, you can take a walk, collect your thoughts, think about the reasons why that person might be acting that way, and respond kindly and move on.

 

LESSON 16:  

– family, always & forever –

Family, it’s so important. Whether it’s your birth family, your blended family, your chosen family, the health of your relationship with your family is important. Family isn’t always about being biologically connected. Family is so much more than just bloodlines or last names. Family doesn’t see race, color, differences. Family sees heart. Family are those people in our life who commit to love and support despite your shortcomings or mistakes. It’s secure, like roots, that help us through tough weather and is there holding us up. Family, keep them close and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for choosing them over others.

I’m still learning every day, and, I know some days may be tougher than others, but keeping these lessons in mind helps me to keep moving forward knowing that there’s a reason and that I will become stronger because of the storms. 

 

hope your monday was filled with endless laughs 🙂

Yours truly,

L.O.A.S.H

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© Elizabeth Anne Villoria

 

 

You are a leader (yes, I’m talking to you….)

Quote of today’s blog: “A boss has a title, a leader has the people.” – Simon Sinek

(just an FYI but there were just so many quotes that I had a tough time choosing, phooey)

This may be a tad bit long but rest assured that it’s definitely worth reading!

Joining the M.A.P Leadership Academy was honestly an AWESOME idea (which, btw, creds go to my mom who told me to go). Oh, and, in case you were wondering, M.A.P is A.K.A Monrovia Partnership Area. It is about a 7-week academy (but only on Wednesdays every week) where we learn so much about leadership, volunteering, helping in the community, and more. Today we’ll be talking about how the first day went by. It gets a little emotional at the end (so brace yourselves).

Okay, so the first Wednesday we met, we had introductions to everyone and some ice breakers. Did you know that the person who facilitated the academy made an inspirational speech to us? Did you know that that same person was there when they held their very first M.A.P Academy for adults? Yup, he was. Very cool, I know. His name is *ahem, drum roll, please* Ed Nicholls. He shared with us about leadership, and I will be telling you what I learned from him.

 

 

I’M VERY EXCITED I MIGHT PEE.

Okay, I’ll chill now. Soooo, let me start by saying you are a leader. Whether you are doing something good or not, your actions which people see is still leading them. When you step outside your door, when you are buying milk from your local milk shop (is this a thing? a milk shop? oh well..), and when you go on with your life as you do, you are leading. So, wouldn’t you want to increase your capacity of leadership and improve the skills which you already have? I’m taking that as a yes. Let’s do this.

What you need to start building in your life would be a team. Your team. This team will be there during those tough times and those happy times. This team will be there as you go through the struggles and rough times of life. This team works as your motivator. Those in your team are those you look up to, those who inspire you to GET BACK UP AGAIN. Some people to add to your team could be:

• Martin Luther King
• Abraham Lincoln
• Mother Teresa
• Hellen Keller
• Your parents
• Nick Vujicic

You might be saying right now:  “wait, wait, hold up…”

Your team consists of anyone that inspires you. ANYONE. Feel like you don’t think you can get back up again? You feel like the odds are against you and everyone’s just out to get you? Think about your team. Those people you put together in your heart and mind. Let Hellen Keller’s will to strive despite the challenges and hardships in her life keep you going when the going gets tough and you prove to yourself that the tough (a.k.a you) can get going. Let Nick Vujicic motivate you to keep fighting, believing, and keep pushing forward when you start doubting what you’re capable of. As you face your next challenge in life, close your eyes, think about how that person (whether it be your mom, dad, sibling, best friend, cousin, etc.) or people you have in your life have shown such strength and kindness and use that to KEEP. MOVING. FORWARD. to LEAD. WITH. HEART. to GET. BACK. UP.

Feeling fired up? Yeah, we’re just getting started…

Here comes more of the good stuff. The 8 leadership qualities that will help you on your awesome journey to awesomeness:

• Purpose

You need to be living your life on purpose. Put your heart into giving back and helping others who need help.

 

• Attitude

I cannot (and I mean CANNOT) stress enough how important one’s attitude is. Your attitude is your weapon, it’s your greatest friend. YOU (and only you) choose the reaction you give to certain people and certain situations. Think of it like this:

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 Example: You walk into the kitchen humming your favorite song when you decide to open the fridge. Your eyes narrow down to the bottom shelf where you target the slice of cake you left the other day to eat. To your dismay, there’s a vacant spot which totally baffles you. You walk to the dining table, scratching your head with slight annoyance. Then there right on the table is YOUR SLICE OF CAKE. Your little sister has chocolate all over her face as she takes another bite into YOUR CAKE, despite having a fork in her hand. 

So what would be your reaction?:

1. Start shouting and expressing all your boiled up anger which may have also built up from other things that may have happened during the day and dump that on your sister
2. Grab the plate, eat whatever is left, and walk away (in anger)
3. Laugh at how you would have done the same thing, sat beside your sister, ask if she would like to share the remaining, and talk about unicorns (or smthg, I mean idk about you but this is usually what I’d talk about to spark a convo)

I’ll be referring to situations when you feel the need get mad as -> CAKE situation

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 At times we tend to answer 1 or 2. We all sometimes overreact during situations then, later on, look back and regret it. It happens.

You might say “uhuh, yeah easy for you to say… it’s just cake…. my situation was different, I needed to get angry”.

LOOK I just used cake as my example but we know we’ve had some situations like this. And, no, you didn’t have to get angry that one time at that person. When you are faced with a CAKE situation, think of it as a fork in the road and you can choose either to take a deep breathe and act with kindness or do the opposite. Choose kindness. We react so quickly without thinking twice it becomes a habit that we don’t even realize because we convince ourself that that small outburst was just nothing and didn’t really mean much. If we keep a negative attitude during small CAKE situations, we will bring that same negative attitude to big CAKE situations. In other words, choose positivity, inspire others with your smile, be friendly. You might not think much about it but a smile is a powerful tool and can go a long way for many people. There are many dark places in our world, people who need repair, be that light, be kind 🙂

 

• Character

Ooooh, this is a good one. Build your character. This is your foundation. You need a solid foundation. When you do something, do your very best (every day). To strengthen your character you will need dedication. Have impeccable honestly. INTEGRITY! Our character goes down to what we do, not what we think, not what we say, but what we DO. And, honesty is what a person with character has as the cores of their foundation. Being a person with character also means to be kind, to be an encourager.

“an encourager?,” YES an encourager.

Don’t give up on others.

Believe in them and don’t ever quit. 

 

• Balance

Balance is important in keeping your life together. You need to prioritize and organize. Each area of your life you have to find a balance. Think about the 6 Fs:

1. Faith
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Finance
5. Fitness
6. Fun

Keep balance in your mind, body, and soul. Something that has really helped me would be keeping a journal. In my journal, I would design something that would be helpful to me to keep the balances in life as well as doodle and creatively express myself on paper every now and then. It’s good healing to just write down what you’re feeling at times. 

 

• Forgiveness

It’s hard. I know. Sometimes you feel like someone has done you so wrong, like someone has disrespected you, like someone has just acted like a total DOUCH and all you want to do is punch them to the OTHER SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE AND THEN GIVE THEM ~THE~ STARE- I know, but we are all capable of forgiveness. It will make you feel so much better if you just forgive rather than hold in all that anger and carry that weight. People are generally good but it’s their environment that they’ve grown up in that may have them acting in a certain “mean” way. People have good intentions, the problem may be the way that they implement. So, when you just start building that tower of hatred or annoyance towards someone for some reason, think about how they just may be badly implementing their good intentions rather than jumping to conclusions and being mad. Forgiveness is a gift and people do struggle with it. But, great leaders make peace and not war, they forgive and work on what has caused the problem.

 

• Perseverance 

I’ll leave you with this on perseverance:

BE ALL IN- never quit.

 

• Team-Spirit

Are you in a team? Are you? Yes, you are. In your family, you’re in a team. Doing a group project with some classmates? That’s a team. We are all in a team. We are all in this together whether we like to be or not. So, love what you do and love who you do it with. When you’re in a team, you help one another. When one of your team members is having trouble with something, you don’t just stare at them blankly with hints of disappointment, you run up to them, smile, and show them they’re not alone and that they’ve got this. When one of your team members struggle to shoot the ball in, give them the chance to keep doing it, keep practicing, believe in them to shoot in the ball (whether that be hypothetically or even physically if you are in a sport). You are in a team. And, when you’re in a team you make everyone around you better. Your home, your family, your friends, your team. Don’t leave anyone out and walk away just because you don’t like their attitude or something they’ve done. Remember, keep that team-spirit up.

 

• Legacy

This wraps up the 8 qualities of being a leader. Your legacy. This is your story. Start building it now. How? Oh, I’ll tell you how. Invest in others, encourage others, help people, KEEP caring. Don’t leave anyone out. Everyone is fighting their own battles, don’t judge and assume what and why someone does something. Remember what I said at the beginning? Live with a purpose, help others. Keep that in your heart and use it.

Being a leader is having a purpose, keeping a good attitude, holding your character firmly in place, keeping balance in life, having the ability to forgive, never quitting and persevering, letting everyone play the game and showing team-spirit, and building your legacy. Never give up on yourself, never give up on others, and above all stay kind and good and encouraging. Finally, I want to end with a short film which they showed us at the end of Day 1. This really moved me and inspires. Here you go:

 

Keep leading, leader :,)

Yours truly,

L.O.A.S.H

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© Elizabeth Anne Villoria